My kids have started sending me text reminders for things they need me to do—because, apparently, at the moment I have the memory of a goldfish. I also seem to be accused daily of not listening, but I suspect that’s just because my brain is juggling a zillion different things at any given time.
After chatting with a customer today who is carrying a mental load the size of a small planet, I’ve realised: I’m not alone and I am not losing the plot. I’m just in that stage of life where thinking is a full-time job on top of a full time job.
What Does Mental Load Look Like?
We're all juggling life in different ways; our health, work, family, life admin and often all at once. The big challenge for many, is the unwritten, never-ending to-do list running in the background of our minds.
Sound familiar? Here’s a small sample of the chaos in our minds:
- Which bin goes out this week? Recycling? Green waste? I wish someone would take full responsibility for this!
- Has the dog got food? Has the dog been fed? Has the dog had a walk? Who last fed the dog? Does the dog need a vaccination? The dog needs a groom.
- Are the kids due for the dentist? Do I really need to go with them? What about the doctor, how are they going with that recent spots injury, are they doing their rehab?
- I wonder why they had a tough day at school, tired, friendships, hormones?
- Do I have time to mow the lawn this weekend? Or will a friendly neighbour do it for me whilst doing theirs? (this never happens but we can dream)
- Who’s planning the next holiday? Can we even afford one? Who's going to look after the dog whilst we're on holiday?
- Who’s going to fix that broken xxxx that we now just ignore and pretend it's not a problem.
Yes, the list continues.....
- Has the washing been done or are we going without undies this week?
- Have I paid that bill and that bill and that bill and ....?
- Who is where this week and how are they getting there? Are they too young for an Uber?
- What’s for dinner? What’s for dinner tomorrow? What’s for dinner .......?
- What should I cook for lunch on Sunday with everyone coming over? Do we have drinks? Who's going to clean the house? Does the BBQ have gas?
- I need to get stamps from the post office.
- I should ring my aunty, she hasn't been well.
- Is the back door locked at night, or am I just relying on good karma?
- Did I send my niece a birthday card? Should I text my sister before she passive-aggressively reminds me I forgot her birthday present - again?
- I need to get that scrip for xxx
- The windows need cleaning, the paths need sweeping, what about the gutters?
None of these things are huge on their own, but together, they create a constant mental workload that never stops.
The Impact of Carrying Too Much Mental Load
Turns out, this isn’t just a phase or a sign that you need more coffee. Those who take on a disproportionate share of the thinking, organising, and managing (aka, the unpaid CEO of Life Admin Inc.) are more likely to experience:
- Increased stress and burnout
- Higher levels of anxiety or depression
- Chronic sleep issues (May explain why your brain start making lists at 2 AM).
- Reduced concentration and memory problems (Wait… what was I just doing?).
Signs You’re Mentally Overloaded
If any of these sound painfully relatable, you might be carrying too much:
- Forgetting small things more than usual—your brain is officially at full capacity.
- Feeling irritable over things that shouldn't bother you. Example: child asks, “What’s for dinner?” and you feel an uncontrollable urge to scream.
- Struggling to fall asleep or waking up still exhausted.
- Feeling constantly behind, no matter how much you do. Because for every task you cross off, five more appear.
Are You Carrying More Than You Realise?
Take a minute to think about who’s keeping track of:
- Household logistics – Booking the plumber, remembering car rego, realising the fridge is empty again, paying the bills.
- Family health & well-being – Medical checkups, eating enough veggies, ensuring no one gets scurvy.
- Social & emotional labor – Birthday gifts, RSVPs, checking in on friends and family so they don’t think you’ve disappeared.
- The bigger picture – Managing the schedule, planning the holidays, ensuring life keeps functioning.
If you’re nodding along, you might be running on mental fumes.
How to Lighten the Load (At Least a Little)
Let’s be honest—if you’ve been handling everything, delegating may feel as foreign as a language you don’t speak. But small changes can make a big difference:
- Write it down – Make a shared to-do list so tasks are visible to everyone, not just floating in your head (I appreciate some of you may laugh or even cry at this because you've got no one to share the load with!)
- Delegate without micro-managing – If you ask someone to do it, let them own it (even if they do it "wrong").
- Automate what you can – Set up reminders, direct debits, or recurring tasks to free up brain space.
- Say no – If your plate is already full, you don’t have to take on more.
Take One Thing Off Your Plate (Literally & Figuratively)
If your mental load feels out of control, outsourcing even one part of your day can make a huge difference. Let us handle dinner so you can focus on everything else life throws your way.
- Chef-crafted meals, made with real ingredients.
- Convenience without compromising on taste or quality
- A freezer stocked with easy, nutritious options so when your kids or partner asks what's for dinner, you can tell them to choose or as one of my friends says to her kids "Grab one of Milla's mum's meals out of the freezer"! Win / win!
Because life is busy enough—dinner shouldn’t add to the stress. Search the menu here >
Final Thoughts
The mental load isn’t physical work or your "job" — it’s the constant extra thinking, planning, and remembering on top of your regular "job" that keeps everything running. If you feel like your brain is an internet browser with 47 tabs open, you’re not alone. Take a moment to acknowledge your load, offload where you can, and remind yourself that even small tasks add up.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I just need to close 46 tabs to help reduce my work mental load to create space for my personal mental load!
What’s on your mental load list today?
P.S. Thanks Keri for your inspiration with this post. I was thinking of you as you juggle your physical and mental load. I hope you get some relief soon.
